Sometimes – more often than you’d think – when I meet with clients, it feels more like a confessional than like a lesson. They know I train using primarily positive reinforcement, and they will look totally abashed and confess, “I just lost patience” and admit that they used to use a shock collar, or that they yelled at their dog. Even the ones who don’t lose patience and punish their dogs will admit to things like that they wonder if they made a mistake getting a dog, that they’re in over their heads, that they just need a break and some peace and quiet. They always look so ashamed.
Here’s the truth: it’s normal.
Here’s another truth: I do it too.
The first year with my dog, I was sure I’d made a huge mistake. I loved her, but god she was a hard puppy. She used to teethe on me so much that I’d bleed, and cry. And she has barrier frustration that I’m sure I could have worked through, but at the time I didn’t know how, so I couldn’t crate her. So she’d bite me and I’d bleed and cry and put her in her crate and she’d howl and cry and bark while I would bleed and cry and wonder why everyone else in the world seems to love puppies so much.
When she was older, probably around two, we were at the dog park and she was way too excited and over aroused, so I grabbed her for a time out to calm down, which was normal for us. For the first time ever, in her non-thinking state of arousal, she redirected her excited play and whipped around and bit me, hard. It didn’t break skin but it bruised, and I was shocked – I love this dog so much and I do everything for her and she bites me? I took her home, handed her leash to my partner, and – through tears – told him, “I love this dog but I am going into the bedroom to read and I cannot even look at her for a few hours.”
Even now – she’s almost four, and I am now a professional trainer – she’ll be whining at me or being pushy, and without thinking I’ll snap “Enough, Athena.” and it’s out of my mouth only seconds before my brain goes, “Oh shit, that’s not how we handle this.” and then I feel that guilty pit of my stomach feeling like I’m the worst dog owner in the world.
Here’s the bottom line:
We all do the best we can. Sometimes, we lose patience. Sometimes, we just need a bubble bath and a glass of wine with the dog locked out of the bathroom. Sometimes, we just really want to go pee alone for once (I know I’m not the only one…). Sometimes, we just need a break.
It’s okay. It’s normal. And you don’t need to feel guilty about it.
The vast majority of our dogs have very happy fulfilled lives, with minimal coercion and compulsion (I’m guessing on my readership here, but I’d imagine most of you are not correcting and punishing your dogs). Our dogs love us, and we love them. If you make a mistake, if you lose patience, it’s okay; dogs are so forgiving. It’s part of their charm.
So whether you have a puppy and you just can’t handle their sharky little teeth right now, or you have an older dog who is testing your patience, don’t worry. Take a deep breath. You didn’t make a mistake getting a dog. We all have bad days – people and dogs – but I can’t imagine my life without them.
April, 2021 – When I wrote this post I had no idea how popular it would be; how many people would share these feelings; how many people needed to hear this. If you’re struggling, I’ve written a follow up post: How to Survive Puppyhood (Without Losing Your Mind). xx Verena
Thank you so much for being our trainer and therapist. xoxoxo
Grace is lucky to have found you!
I felt so guilty literally hating my dog, I can’t have a conversation with my kids let alone family time. I literally can’t do anything with my dog. I just want my life back, the one I had before this dog, when I cooked, cleaned and had family time and when the summer time came my kids were everywhere in the entire tristate. Now I have to leave the room in order for my kids to have a conversation with each other because my dog is becoming a fucking terror.
I’m in the same boat… I don’t even want to be near my dog… it sucks, because getting him was supposed to be the best thing ever, but all he does is anger me.
Amen at this moment in time I fully hate mine. It just watched me today I asked if he wanted food he jumped so we went had food walking down the stairs he takes a fat shit k owing he just watched me clean it I know he does it on purpose and it fully pisses mr off. He’s now in crate jail for an hour
I feel bad to admit it.. but sometimes .. I really hate my dog as well. I think the most guilty I feel is when he comes home from being out or I come home and his face lights up trying desperately to lick.
But then I find a fresh poop on the carpet, maybe a pee by the door.” I was only gone an hour and walked him before I left” i think to myself”. After cleaning that up, the dog will sit .. directly across from me and growl. Then growl some more, like im not trying to get some homework done or anything important like that. Then run into the kitchen, flip his bowl over spilling his kibble to show his displeasure theres no wet food in it, then jump back on the bed and growl some more.
Ive tried crating him. He freaks out and digs so desperately hes made his paws bleed. So .. he gets free roam in the house. Being sure to leave a poop or pee trail to let you know hes been there.
I’ve taken him to the vet where they recommend finding ways to burn him out. So, we sign him up for daycare where they can keep him busy all day when im out. I bring him home and he passed out on the couch. “Thank goodness” I tell myself. “Finally, some quiet time”. After a power nap, hes back at his growling.
Back to the vet where they suggest some toys he can be interactive with. I buy the latest kong, some push and feed toys and a new squeek toy. Not that he doesn’t have 40 others .. but .. meh.
They keep him busy for half an hour where I think its time to try homework again. Nope .. back staring me down growling. New feeder toy chewed up, all proud hes broken in rather than pushed it around like the toy was intended.
“Maybe his not getting enough attention” I think. So .. i make a point of trying to get at least an hour more play time in. Not that he doesn’t get a ton of time already but .. lets try this.
So we play. Hes had enough and I think .. finally .. homework. An hour later.. back to growling. Now, its 10pm. Hes decided hes tired and goes to sleep. I on the other hand.. still have homework to do. I finish usually 1-2 am .. exhausted. This has become a daily routine.
Yes, I feel guilty saying it but, I hate my dog.
Hes a 12 pound morkey. I was assured he would calm down around 2 years. Hes 4 now.
The last morkey I had was polar opposite. Slept lots. Didn’t care much for play. Was content just laying in your lap all day.
My new dog is a jerk and .. i hate him.
Wow do we have the same dog? I have spent so much time and money on mine that I’m just worn the hell out. I work full-time, study part-time and am renovating a house. My previous dog was chill from the get-go, and although they’re the same breed, they are polar opposites. We don’t click at all and it makes it really hard to justify keeping her. If it was solely on me I would have found a new home for her within the first year, but my husband desperately wanted to keep her and I thought to myself “she’s still young maybe she’ll grow out of it”. Nope. Doesn’t help that he works an offshore rotation and is gone every 2-3 weeks for two weeks at a time.
Honestly it just isn’t worth it. I wish we had gotten a cat. And between the two of us, I was the dog lover.
In the same boat… take my dog for 2 walks a day, give him attention here & there & he just constantly whines. When he’s upset, he’ll bring up his leg like he’s hurt, just so he’ll get attention. He whines to go outside but then whines to come outside. He gets hours of outside play time. But I feel like I can’t even leave him unattended outside now, because he’ll dig holes out of boredom and bark at literally nothing. I have never had a dog in my life that required attention literally 24/7; it’s very exhausting and very annoying at times, especially when I need to get things done around the house. I deal with him whining and acting up so much while I’m at home, that the 2 days out of the week, that I come home late after the day away, I don’t even want my dog near me… it feels so weirs to me, because normally Im obsessed with dogs
I am sp sorry you are experiencing this. Especially the fact you can’t even crate him! If you could atleast do that when he’s being aggressive or overstimulated it could help a lot. And you can’t even do that. I feel your pain you aren’t alone. You are doing above and beyond for your pup and you sound like a wonderful person
I hate my dog too, I feel guilty too. But I crate her, she’s so hyper so jumpy and wants to chew everything, she never learn to stop biting us and this piss me off any punishment you do she’ll keep doing this. Tired of cleaning house with her paws print everywhere special here is raining a lot! Tired of wiping her dirty butt! God damn couple days ago I had to pull out her poop Gosh that was ridiculous I was hoping no one see this! She scratches us a lot! I don’t know when she gonna learn to be a quiet dog! I’m so tired of her and I can’t keep her forever in crate! I do my best but she never wants me to be nice with her!
I love my dog so much I sacrifice everything for him . I live low income and yet I sacrifice every red cent I have to make sure he has what he needs . I wear scrub clothes and feel like a slob most of the time I don’t eat healthy groceries anymore . every red cent goes to his care .
The 2 1/2 years ago he was diagnosed with diabetes . I have PTSD for all the times that his blood sugar crashed and panic all the times that his blood sugars just won’t come down . find out from the vet that he’s one of the hard to regulate dogs .
I hardly sleep anymore and what I do it’s broken sleep because I get up every hour to check his bg.
what does numbers are really high and they won’t come down I have to take them for a long walks out all hours of the night even when it’s very cold out and I’m tired .
and I’d be willing to do all this even so but my dogs is pretty mean alot the time . snarling at me when I have to put his coat on to go outside . Snarling at me when I try to show affection to him sometimes. he’s not very cooperative when I’m trying to take care of him.
I love find myself saw the sole caregiver and I don’t have any help of anyone .
what I’m sick with the flu or like I am now having serious nosebleeds and not feeling well . doctors orders not to exert myself but my dog is really fussy about going to the bathroom it is even willing to hold it .
I guess he wants me to take them for longer walks which I can’t do because I’m too sick .
what he doesn’t go to the bathroom it causes his blood sugars to skyrocket .
he does it on purpose because he’s been doing it for 11 years and I’ve caught on Coors his tr he does it on purpose because he’s been doing it for 11 years and I’ve caught on .
I will try to rehome them but nobody wants a diabetic dog who is mean.
just got back from walking my dog and he’s being nasty I won’t let me take his coat off without snarling and showing teeth . I had no choice but to leave them in his leash and his jacket . i’m very sick stressed out and I can’t keep going on like that I don’t know what to do with him because nobody wants a diabetic dog because I do love him too much to put him down . yes there’s times that I hate him so much and I feel horrible about it because one day he will die and I regret saying those things . I feel so alone and trapped in this hell.
tonight I’m not feeling well and I don’t want to have another severe nosebleed but I just don’t know how to take care of tonight . my oldest son doesn’t like my dog because he thinks that he’s taking up so much of my time that I’m not able to take care of my health and he’s worried about me .
my younger son loves my dog cozy because he’s sometimes very mean to him when he tries to show affection to him. my dog hates kids and will probably buy want to bite if they try to approach him . even when adults want to pet him he steps back , snarls and acts like he will bite. I feel like there’s no hope ! 😥😥😥😥😥💔💔💔
I hate our puppy because I hate myself. We’ve had him for 9 weeks. He’s 6 months. I am his primary caregiver during the week. I walk him 3 times a day, obedience training in 5-10 min sessions 4 times a day. He goes to training class twice a week and socialization twice a week. This thing grows increasingly aggressive as the day wears on and my patience gives out. Between work, 3 kids (who are scared of this ahole) and him I’m mentally and physically done. I’ve told my husband he has 2 more months and if there is zero improvement in his behavior, he goes back to the shelter or I open the front door and wave goodbye. But I hate him because I hate myself and I’m clearly failing him.
I got my dog because I really wanted children and was told I couldn’t have any by an asshole gynecologist who accused me of cheating on my husband due to a positive HPV result that came from being sexually assaulted.
I poured so much love and affection into this dog.
He isn’t spoiled, he is just incredibly needy.
None of his dog instincts are in tact and he simply refuses to act like a dog.
It drives me up the wall! I swear I hate him so much!
Between cleaning poop off my infant child and then having to clean poop off my adult male dog…I just don’t have the patience for him.
He eats what he isn’t supposed to eat, then pukes and poops all over my tiny apartment and even in my car when we were out just me with the baby.
My husband doesn’t see his excessive needy ness as anything less than adorable but I guess I feel like I’m failing this dog because he really was out for a walk 3 times a day, fed regularly at intervals and had a huge yard to play in with other dogs.
But I had to have surgery, so his walks stopped. I was in a cast for months and slow healing afterwards. Then I got pregnant. I had my son a year ago and I love him to pieces and son loves my dog.
But I know my dog just wants my attention and affection but I’m have my to be so patient as a new mom of a toddler now and this dumb dog who won’t even drink water or leave a hot room unless you cheer him on.
He has to have someone police him to go pee outside or he just won’t go.
He has to be cheered on while eating kibble or he just won’t eat it.
He just lies there and stares like a doofus instead of letting me know he has to go out.
I don’t know…I feel so guilty for hating his guts but I really do.
I’m currently trying to find a new place with a yard so he can at least feel like he has some freedom,
But money doesn’t grow on trees. I got him for life though and will always take care of him, I’m just over the literal needy mess he is.
Oh my god this is literally my dog… He won’t go outside alone, he won’t go get a drink himself he follows me all over the house & sits outside the bathroom door whining when I am literally 2 minutes to have a pee! If he doesn’t go for a walk when He wants he does into full on melt down! I’ve literally had to crate him today to go out for a couple of hours (he can’t have free roam because he will destroy everything he can get his paws on and will pee everywhere – he’s house trained!) I am actually going to talk to the vet tomorrow when he goes for his annual vaccinations about getting him some meds because I can’t train him when he’s like this! I hate myself for hating him at times because of course I love him to bits but doing this completely alone is damn hard work!
My hellion puppy just decided to take a nap – Thank You Lord! I am so frustrated with the biting, jumping, barking and just craziness 24/7. He has been going to puppy manners class for a month, where both he and I have a report card and homework. Still no improvement so I hired an at home trainer who comes once a week to help me – help him. Still – nothing. This is my 4th puppy and I had 2 adult rescues (all labs), I felt very confident that I could do this especially working from home now and my kid is off in college. I don’t know why I am having such a hard time. It’s the biting, nipping, ripping my clothes. I lock myself in the bathroom to cry from time to time. The trainer said hes a smart dog, this is all normal, you will get through this – the “Cutting Stage” yeah, the cuts all over my hands, arms and face. This is not normal. I am on the edge f bringing him back to the breeder. I am getting judged by others including myself.
I lost my very beloved dog right before Covid hit. I was heart broken about losing my Tobi I couldn’t eat. I even vowed that I would give up all meat, sweets and bread in his honor. It probably sounds crazy but he was so wonderful it was a small sacrifice. I have continued doing that, because I loved him so much. I didn’t want another dog. For some reason out of the blue I wanted to get another dog. Before I got TOBI I wanted a German Shepherd. I knew that wouldn’t work because my husband doesn’t like large dogs. My daughter researched different breeds of dogs. She found a Japanese Chin that would fit into our life style. She and her brother bought Tobi for me. The greatest gift I have ever received. He was so good and easy to train. He lived to please us and we lived to please him. He went everywhere with us. We live in Los Angeles we took him up and down the east coast, to Las Vegas, etc. When I lost Tobi I decided I never wanted another dog. I should have stood with my first impulse. I got the bright idea.k I wanted to get a German Shepherd. I looked at them and decided I wanted to get another Chin. I went on Japanese Chin sites on Facebook. Looking for a Japanese Chin. They are fairly rare. So I really a terrible time finding one. At last I found an AKC breeder who had just breed her female dog. She wasn’t sure if it would take. I said I would wait and see what would happen. Well it did take. I wanted a black and white male. Well when the dog had her puppies she has four black and white males. I saw the one I wanted the the day he was born on video. I knew he was the dog for me. I had no illusions that he would have Tobi’s personality. But being a Chin they all do have very similar personality traits. We got him at 12 weeks. He seemed to be a little different than Tobi and other Chin’s I had seen. I thought for sure he would settle down when he got use to us. As bad luck would have it he only got worse. I mean big time worse. Biting us constantly, until we bled. If we told him no. He would just go back to doing it. He is so annoying with everything he does and completely uncontrollable. We paid $2,000 for this monster of a dog. If we hadn’t paid as much as we did I would take him back to the breeder. Again I reiterate I did not expect him to be Tobi. I didn’t expect this dog to be a monster from hell either. We had a Great Dane who was also a wonderful dog. They are huge yet I trained him with no ktrouble. Japanese Chins are very little dogs. You would think just by their size they would be somewhat easier to train. No way, he is impossible. I am now locked in my bedroom so I don’t have to deal with him. My husband is at home so he is not in any danger. I can’t say that for my husband. I absolutely hate this dog. We are going to send him to a trainer. To see if that will help. I sincerely doubt it. Some dogs like people are wonderful. But some people like dogs are horrible. I am sincerely an animal lover. It runs in our gene pool. I have two cousins that are Vet’s. My son has two horse, 3 dogs 2 cats. My sister has 3 dogs. So it is not that I have no knowledgeable about dogs. I just hate this dog. I would like to think he will grow out of this stage. But, know he will only get worst.
My dog is a yorkiepoo. I paid a good bit for her and was so excited to have her. I noticed she was a little hyper, but thought it was cuz she’s a puppy. 4 years later she still constantly spins in circles. Anytime anyone goes to pet her, she spins, bends down and pees. She’s too excited. So I try walking her and letting her run around in our backyard. But she comes in just as excited and hyper as she did before. If she’s around other dogs, she literally ignores them and stare at people. She doesn’t play with any toys. She barks anytime we have visitors and pees when they pet her. Strangers say her twirling in circles is so cute, but I’m truly annoyed. When I let her out to pee/poop she does both, but when she comes in she’ll follow me (in fast continuous circles). If I show her attention she’ll pee so sometimes I’ll ignore her. Bad part about that is that’s when she’ll randomly poop somewhere despite me just taking her out minutes before. When it’s time to wind down and I’m just relaxing she twirls in circles and looks at me. Eventually she’ll lay down, but If I make the slightest movement she twirls in circles again. She just stares at ppl a lot which gets weird and annoying and only goes away if you say “GO” (then she’ll stare at you from a random corner). My parents have a puppy that’s almost 1 who doesn’t act half as crazy as my dog. She’s so cute, but after dealing with the constant hyperness for 4 years, I’m done. I almost feel bad if I gave her to a good home, because she’d probably annoy them as well with the circling and excited peeing. We have a child on the way and she will be too much to handle. I love dogs, but I prefer a more chill dog next time.
I think you just described my 15 month mini 19lb labradoodle. Just add in pulls on leash, squirrel chaser, will literally choke himself out to get where he’s going, drinks an excessive amount of water (no underlying issue), whines/barks when people visit once he’s crated for acting like a maniac. Escape artist- broke through screen door and almost got hit 2x (bless my neighbors). 2 hours of walking, one full out sprint…doesn’t want to play with toys. Much rather bite your hands… could care less if you stop playing bc he’s biting your hands… a year and some change later…. Stillll doing it. Refuses to come in if you walk in first. Hates you giving anyone attention but him… it’s my son’s dog and he isn’t strong enough to walk his dog yet. Behaviorist says he won’t stop until 3/4 if I’m lucky.
I’m so relieved that im not the only one
.. my fiancé and I got a golden retriever. I didn’t want a puppy, I felt like it was too much energy and responsibility. Nevertheless, we got a puppy. I can’t eat or drink anything without her staring me down, waiting for any morsel so she can snatch it off the floor and swallow it down without a second thought. You can tell her a command 10x over, but as soon as you turn your back, her ADHD butt is up again doing whatever she pleases. Everyone adores her.. everyone but me. I feel so guilty.
I am so happy to find that I am not the only person on the planet who hates having a dog. Two other adults in my household love the dog (7 month old Australian Shepherd) so the chance of giving her away is zero. I am the only one on dog-duty for eight hours a day, often more like ten or twelve. I have lost my independent retirement, can’t go out for any errands in the car without struggling to get her into the back seat, have lost all the grass in my backyard, lost all the birds and landscaping in my backyard, haven’t ridden my bicycle in seven months, lost my ability to spend time walking with friends (in a COVID safe way) because the dog is has not learned proper leash walking after hours and hours of training, and lots of expensive classes. My house has fences in every doorway which the humans have to open and close behind them, or climb over. My self-image as a good and tidy housekeeper also destroyed. I am so depressed that I want to let the dog “get away” and hope somebody finds and keeps her. Except that my family members would probably post signs, and the chip embedded by the vet would enable a dog-finder to locate us and return her. I do not enjoy walking her as it is a constant training battle, and I can’t even look up or take my attention off her, or I’ll trip over her, or be pulled over. I don’t want to be heard swearing at her or kicking her out of my path. I would prefer not to walk her at all. She is only happy when she is pulling and wheezing. There is no “plus” or value-added, for me. Other family members seem to love her and say that they do. They say that we all love her and I just want to SCREAM.
I hate my puppy, he’s a husky mix and currently 14 weeks. We got him on impulse as my husband had been wanting a second dog and we came across an ad and he saw photos and couldn’t resist, he was pretty cute and we went to meet/greet, the puppy looked healthy and happily played in the yard with their litter mates. I knew that our older (2year old Samoyed) still needed work on obedience since he was spoiled silly by my husband, but the older dog was friendly and not aggressive so we thought it would work out. This wasn’t our first puppy so we felt we should be okay to learn and manage. It has been an absolute nightmare ever since we brought the puppy home for the last 7 weeks. The puppy turned out to be extremely fearful and aggressive. Refuses to move when outdoors and growls and attacks anything (even a harmless pile of snow, whilst he is covered in snow already!). He growls when the mailman is a block away. He growls when he hears dogs barking from a park a few blocks away. He growls, jumps and snaps whenever any stranger even glances his way. We have hired a private trainer and enrolled in virtual puppy classes and although there are some improvements, more behavioral issues arise as each day passes. He has sever separation anxiety, refuses to be left alone. I can’t even step away for a few minutes before the howling starts. I have to keep ‘practicing’ leaving him for seconds and minutes at a time multiple times a day and there has been no progress. He attacks/growls at my older dog. He resource guards. My older dog used to be patient and calm when we leave and has now also started to have separation anxiety and resource guarding as well. They now both have to be kept separate unless fully 100% supervised; turn around for one second (even to wash my hands after picking up poop) and all hell breaks loose. They now both refuse to be crated and left alone. My older dog is also now becoming aggressive with the puppy and myself. He used to have free roam but now needs to be separated once the puppy gets crated for the nap. If the puppy sees the older dog walk by at a distance when napping, he wakes up and howls like murder. As the primary care giver, from the moment I wake up to when I sleep, all I do is manage these two dogs. Every minute is a training opportunity: obedience, potty, outside desensitizing, separation anxiety desensitizing, separation/prevention of dog-dog aggression, outside obedience… the list goes on. I can’t do any walks with both dogs so I had to get a dog walker since the puppy cries fowl murder and growls at every moving thing. I have tried positive reinforcement with high value treats and he just bites my fingers with them, and immediately goes back to growl. I have had mental breakdowns daily, full blown panic attacks and anxiety. Due to the pandemic I have been working from home but my productivity has plummeted. I can barely get any work done in the brief moments they decide to nap after howling for being crated across the room. I can barely cook or stomach food anymore, and I am not able to sleep. I’ve lost all appetite for food, or other interests/hobbies, have not spent any time other than taking care of these two dogs. I wake up crying throughout the night, to then continue to cry throughout the day. My husband thinks I am overthinking everything and things ‘will work themselves out’, but physically and mentally I am not coping. He only sees them a few brief hours in the evening when they have calmed down after a full day of fights and doesn’t think they have any problems. When he’s home on the weekends he helps by taking care of the older dog while I do more outside conditioning with the puppy. He has never had to worry about leaving them alone since he wants to spend time with them when he is home. I feel like a failure, to this puppy and to the older dog. The older dog isn’t getting any attention from me, I can’t walk him (I used to love walks with him!) and his behavior is also escalating as I have my hands full with the puppy. Now I abhor going out for a walk as I have to walk the puppy (while the older dog is with the dog walker), and the puppy is horrible outdoors. I hate this puppy and want to rehome him but my husband is completely against it, saying they will both grow out of it, and we have the responsibility to care for it regardless of how I am feeling and that I need to stop worrying. The puppy hasn’t even reached the rebellious stage yet! If he’s a terror now, and both dogs are fighting all day long, the upcoming months are going to be even more brutal. My older dog now primarily hides under the sofa or in the closet, or will fight with the puppy. I am ready to rehome the puppy to another loving family who doesn’t have another dog at home with dedicated time for this puppy. I am exhausted. I hate this puppy.
This is my life right now with my 10 month old pup and it’s making me depressed and crazy. Did it get better at all?
Studies have shown dogs can sense when you do not like them. They will not live a fulfilled life knowing this. Dogs crave a bond and/or a job (depending on the breed). You’re doing a disservice to your dog by not providing an adequate home. The best thing you can do is just find a new, loving home for them. The fact that you grabbed her collar in a state of arousal shows, you have no idea what you’re doing when it comes to training dogs. This article has no educational information whatsoever, it’s literally only written to make someone feel okay with yelling and hating their dog. No, it’s not normal to hate your dog.
Gosh, you’re putting a lot of emotion and intention behind my words that I didn’t actually say. I have no real interest in arguing with you.
That said, I do try to *always* lead with kindness and empathy, and that means empathizing with people when they are struggling or frustrated or even doing things with their dogs that I wouldn’t recommend. I cannot help dogs – or their people – if I can’t understand them and they feel judged by me.
*Everyone* loses patience sometimes. If you don’t, you’re one in a million.
This clearly wasn’t intended as an educational post – there is no training protocol or anything like that in it. It is simply empathy for the many, many people who struggle and get frustrated and do their best and mean well. I spend a lot of my time educating – both my clients and hours and hours for free both virtually and to low income people. This post isn’t that.
If everyone who got frustrated with their dogs sometimes would be better to give them up, we would have shelters even more overflowing than they already are. There are far more dogs in need of homes than there are in loving homes – even if those loving homes lose patience sometimes. Work in rescue for any amount of time, and you will change your perspective on this one.
Take care of yourself. I’m sorry you found this triggering xxx
Believe me, I’m not trying to argue with you either. I think you’re choosing the wrong choice of words as well as not providing any solutions. I wouldn’t have been “triggered” (as you put it) if you didn’t title your blog as a training and behavior modification professional or if you hadn’t used the word “hate” OR…I don’t know, maybe read the comments you already have on this post. I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong here. You have only commented on my post, so who is triggered? If someone truly “hates” their dog then they really should find a different home. I don’t mean frustrated. I also don’t mean take it to a shelter, I mean literally find it a new home. There are plenty of rescues that would be happy to help as well.
I’ve worked with dogs over 12 years and I find that people tend to see a dog and go get it because they like the way it looks, without doing the proper research. For example, someone who is more laid back but decides to get a Cane Corso…well you can probably guess it won’t work out unless given the knowledge to adequately channel a dogs energy or provide them with the correct mental stimulation. This is where trainers are wonderful assets but if you go around telling people it’s ok, well they’ll go about their business doing the same thing they’ve been doing like keeping the dog but putting it in a kennel for hours because they read a post saying it’s ok because you want a glass of wine.
So basically what you’re telling me is you wrote a post to make people feel better. As trainers, it isn’t our job to make people feel better. It’s our job to be advocates for these dogs, help the owners understand their dog and most importantly, help the dog live a more fulfilled life with an owner they can bond with. We have to provide them with the necessary knowledge to confront this so they can access whether this is a good fit for them or not.
I say this not because I’m reading into what you’re saying too much but because the people who are looking for answers will be reading it this way.
As a trainer, I would hope you of all people should know that some people have an energy that doesn’t mesh well with certain dogs and THAT’S OKAY. Maybe that would be a better blog post but hey, it’s your blog xoxo wish you the best with your business, we all do things differently.
Given that you say you’re a pro as well, I’m all about collaboration over competition. If you want to chat about differing methods of reaching clients or how we help dogs, I’m always happy to have that conversation. I’m an open book.
If you want to comment on a several years old blog post that has helped many people feel less alone and argue with me using a pseudonym over pedantic word choice, I have better ways to spend my time.
Like it or not, the comments section here should show you this is a reality people struggle with.
Our job is to help these people and their dogs. I’m good at my job. I hope you are too.
I replied to you because I get to choose if I approve comments on my blog and yours is the first one to come through that is critical, and I think it is important to talk to people who don’t agree with us.
But, this post isn’t a pissing ground for pros, it’s a support forum for owners. So, as a pro, I’d ask that you respect that. If you’d like to talk personally under your own name, you know where to find me ✌
I just wanted to say as a new puppy owner, finding this post has really helped. Loves Dog might have points I don’t know to be honest. But finding an article that accurately describes my feels of love, sometimes frustration and lets not forget confusion around “Did i make the right decision?” . I really needed to hear “it was normal to feel like this”, so even if its not the way a “Pro” should talk about dogs, all I can say is that I am extremely grateful you did write it as it made me feel understood and you don’t even know me.
Thank you, Lavern. That is the whole point; the comments section here is a testament that you are not alone. We all love our dogs, do our best for them, and give them wonderful lives. But sometimes frustration can be overwhelming, and helping people feel understood and less alone is a really good thing.
Thank you for this post.
Please tell me where you are located so I may never stumble upon your services. Thanks.
Oh don’t we all just love a know it all ? ! Jolly good…you have been training dogs for 12 years and that is your bread & butter. Your passive aggressive ending sucked and your attitude needs to be bitten by a pit bull mastiff. People are here just venting &/or unpacking, not looking for a keyboard warrior such as yourself to make them feel worse ! How about we start something about neighbors who get disturbed by an incessantly stupid pooch, who only barks at what only they can see ? Oh look…the neighbor has had a glass of wine…that turned into two and eventually the neighbor became an alcoholic to cope. Maybe even sold their place ? Just because you don’t love human beings, doesn’t mean you have an entitlement to unnecessary CAPS people and treat them with knowledge, And the horse you rode in on and leave these dog owners alone to vent &/or unpack safely. While your at it dog owners, feel free to note ‘Loves Dogs’ ‘ overuse of commas. Furthermore, no one ‘says’ anything in a post, loves dogs. Dogs don’t overuse commas, they just overuse their vocal abilities by saying ‘woof’ WOOFL…er…ROFL…er…ha ha ;-D .
Well guess we are all here for the same reason. I feel terribly guilty because this is not my first puppy. My family used to breed and show Weimareiners so I am used to dogs. Because of Covid working from home I decided it was a good time to get a puppy because I will have more time with it. I decided on a Giant Schnauzer because they make good guard dogs and have minimal shedding. I did my research, I was aware that the breed can be stubborn, requires a lot of grooming. Because of my family’s involvement in dogs and I was active in that, I considered myself experienced. I go find a breeder decided I wanted a male. I guess the first red flag was when I went to see the puppies, they were really biting and crawling up my legs. I mean using their paws to climb my leg like a pole.
I chose one that was pretty docile compared to its siblings.
Puppy comes home and the first thing I noticed was he could not seem to relax- so much that he was breathing heavily and always moving his head around. He would never settle down and had his mouth on everything. My friend was sitting on the floor and he ran up to him and bit him in the face. My friend tried to laugh it off but I could tell he was hurt. I bought this puppy every toy imaginable. Squeaky, cracking, plush you name it . Spent nearly $300 on toys and he is interested in hardly any of them and prefers to chew cords and chairs and me! This puppy never sits still. Only time he is still ,is in his crate and sometimes even then he is in the crate panting and moving around. I tried just relaxing with him in the bed or on the sofa giving him a toy. He will chew it for a few seconds then start chewing on the bed sheets. He will want to be close to me and sit on the sofa or bed but I end up having to put him in the crate because he just won’t settle down and always seems fixated on biting me – this includes my hair. One day a friend game over , the door bell rang and in excitement the puppy jumped up and bit my leg hard. I had to fight back the tears and my friend said “your leg is bleeding”.
I took him to the vet for a round of shots. Imagine my surprise when the vet comes out to the car with him all scratched up and bleeding and said “Boy this puppy is more nervous than most I have seen. I almost thought we would have to sedate him.”
When I am working on zoom he sits at my feet and is constantly biting at me and jumping on and off my lap. This is a Giant Schnauzer mind you so he is already big at 4 months old. I have tried training him and he does not seem to grasp commands as quickly as other dogs I have owned. If I think I have taught him stay or lay down, two hours later it is like I never worked with him for three hours before.
House training is hit or miss. Some days he will go on the pads or outside. Then we will spend two hours outside and he will come in and poo right in front of my face.
I am worried because I am beginning to think this is a mistake. I am not bonding with him well as much as I am trying to . I had this problem with one dog before in my life and I ended up rehoming her when she was three years old because we just never clicked. I did not realize it until I got another dog of the same breed and it was like my soul mate. So I do think that dogs have people they work with and people they don’t . Or maybe this is not the right breed for me. I look at videos of other giant schnauzer puppies and they are calmer than mine is. He also knocks over his water dish constantly so I had to invest in the elevated ones. Then he comes up and puts his big paws in the water. Giant Schnauzers have BIG furry paws so water is all over the place , plus with his beard always dripping so I have to have a mop nearby 24/7.
It does not help that this has been a very cold winter. He can’t fully go out until all of his shots are completed. I am embarrassed to talk about it with my friends because I paid $2,000 for this puppy and everyone made a big deal about me getting him. I wrote to the breeder and he was just like “oh he is being a puppy just give him a tug on the neck.”
Believe me I have tried that. The most frustrating thing is that he does not get body language or verbal cues. Tonight was especially frustrating because after about 20 times (yes 20) of telling him “NO” not to jump at me while I am sitting in a chair. He still did not get it. Understand this is a big puppy – he is already like 37 lbs . I put him in the crate for 1 hour. Let him out thinking let’s try again. He comes out , I give him a bone, praise him for laying down, after 1 minute he gets up and comes at me again. He seems to think I am the toy and even when he has a toy in his mouth, he wants to chew it against my body. He hates when I am on zoom or the phone and will pull at my clothes until I get off.
Here is my plan. I know puppies are frustrating. I am going to wait until he is 6 most old and evaluate. He has been with me a month. He is slightly slowing down on the chewing. It will be warmer soon and his shots will be over. Maybe when we go outside more , it will burn up energy. I plan to do agility with him when the classes start again but first he needs to learn some manners. I am thinking of hiring a trainer. I have trained all of my dogs on my own but this one I think needs a boot camp. If this does not work, I will speak to the breeder about rehoming.
I feel guilty and like a failure and stupid. I researched the breed well, thought it was challenging but nothing I could not handle. There are days when I hate this puppy and have just closed the bathroom door leaving him outside. I can tell he wants to bond but how can I when he will not settle or sit still. I have to put him in the crate because he rarely will just go to sleep on his own. He gets very agitated when he is tired and will start lunging at me. His attention span is like 4 seconds. Just feeling like a bad human being now.
Hi!
I was wondering if you tried CBD oil or trazadone (from the vet?) We give our rescue dog trazadone b/c he has anxiety and would never settle down (even after exercise ) woke constantly pace and whine and drive me crazy. He would also startle really easy and pee randomly In the house. The trazadone helped so much! It took the edge off his hyper vigilant / anxious behavior . He still skittish but he’s so much easier to live with! He’s absolutely a miserable dog to be around without it unfortunately. Your dog is really young so maybe after you are able to take him out and burn off some energy that will help too. Good luck! I’ve always thought giant schnauzers look so cool and intimidating !
Thank God for this article and these posts! It really helps to know you’re not alone and sometimes you just need to vent.
I’ve been wanting a puppy for quite some time now. Followed a few shelters on Instagram and saw an event. I wanted another puppy but when I tried to pick it up, it jumped right out of my hands and went around sniffing other people. So that was a nope. Went to a cute black and white pup and as I held him, he kissed me and stayed in my arms. He was perfect.
He was actually good for like 2 weeks. He picked up on commands and even learned to pee outside on some artificial grass.
But it’s like he listens when he wants to. Every new week there’s something new. He likes to play tug of war and it’s gotten aggressive. He’s teething so everything is chewable. He’s chewed through his harness. Chews his collar and leash. Likes to jump up and grab his leash while we’re walking. So I’m playing tug of war whether I like it or not.
He started barking at people. Mind you he’s nearly 4 months and growing but his bark is loud and sharp. Endless energy. I mean I’m exhausted.
We go to training once a week at PetSmart and he’s actually been doing well. But he selectively obeys.
Finally got his nails cut and I could tell the groomer had a hard time. She wouldn’t even look at me when I picked him up.
He jumps on literally everybody. And it’s not just a jump. It’s a “excited” lunge. He bites. Well he nips, trying to get you to pet him. Then he gets too excited and bites. Has a weird obsession with feet. Eats the mulch from my plants (he’s not nutritionally deficient, I give him purina pro). Freaks out when I leave even with family around. That’s new. Is my literal shadow.
I mean there’s some good. He’s cute of course :) He’s learning to sense my mood and when I need space (is that a good thing) or when I want to cuddle. We have good and bad days.
I’m just afraid he’ll get aggressive and lunge or bite someone. He’s friendly and loves people but plays too rough. And I’m tired.
I don’t like the whole “pet parent” name but I get it. It’s like having a baby. I wonder if I made a mistake. I hope he’ll grow out of this. I guess I just need a better trainer and a break from time to time.
And less judgement. People think it’s easy raising a puppy and throw suggestions here and there or look at you sideways when they see something they don’t necessarily agree with. But every animal is different and not all techniques are universal. Hopefully it’ll get better. 😊
hahaha omg this was hilarious. I think I dislike one of my dogs because she is like me too
I’m so thankful to see recent posts on here. I’ve had my rescue since 11/4/20 and I absolutely despise her. I was recently diagnosed Bipolar II and let me tell you, the thing people say about dogs helping with mental health? That’s an outright lie. If you ask a bunch of animal lovers whether or not they feel a pet helps their mental health, what kind of answers do you think you’re going to get? She’s 2 and a half. We’ve done the in-home and puppy classes. Guys, let’s be clear, she is a great dog. She knows all commands, came crate and potty trained, goes straight to her kennel at bedtime. Literally couldn’t ask for a better dog. She annoys the hell out of me because husband and I cannot be in the same room otherwise she loses her mind, but we realize it’s because we are together. Her little pack. Her little family. But I did not grow up with dogs. Husband wanted a dog. Guess who works from home 24/7 thanks to the pandemic and gets to care for her all day and sometimes into the evening? The bipolar chick lol. Nah, we need to get rid of the dog, but husband wouldn’t have it even if I tried. The best thing I can do for her is to feed her, give her a pet, and let her outside. No more. Sometimes less. Like a lot less. As long as she’s alive, I guess that is what he wants. I’ve imagined taking her to the vet or back to the shelter and saying she ran away, but he would find out and be royally pissed off. I tell everyone/anyone who asks “I hate her. Can’t wait for her to go over the rainbow bridge. You want her? Free with all her crates toys and food?!” We have a taker, but honestly, if this is the one bright spot for my husband who has to deal with my ass all the time, then I guess it’s a small price to pay. Oh and she bites HARD when scared. Husband is currently recovering from some deep bites but it was his fault for reaching into the kennel like he did. I’m not a dog lover but I’ve researched the hell out of how to get her to mind and how to get her to leave me alone. It’s okay though – only 10-15 more years of this right?
I’m so thankful to have found this post! I have a 2 year old angel dog who is super well behaved, and decided to get a puppy last summer — WHY did I assume that I would win the genetic lottery again and another puppy would be just as well behaved?! My second is the polar opposite: my first is gentle and thoughtful, my second is the actual Kool-aid man. She’s eager to please, he’s eager… for food. She became trustworthy indoors at 6 months, he’s almost a year and has no freedom. She doesn’t react to anything, he loses his mind at dogs on walks.
I’m so angry at myself for setting myself up like this. I live alone and I’m their only caregiver. Why did I think I could handle this?!!!! I’ve worked SO hard. I listen to all the podcasts. I have a trainer. We work on training every single day. I fill kongs with peanut butter and chia seeds and soaked kibble and god knows what else. I work positive reinforcement only. I desensitized him to cars and baths and harnesses. Every single we walk we go on is spent scanning for dogs and counter conditioning. I spend SO MUCH MONEY on them. I am CONSTANTLY reconfiguring my life and schedule to figure out what best works for him and his learning.
He’s learning and has made so much progress, but sometimes I just feel like I can’t. I resent that I come home and have to spend the next four hours dealing with his bullsh*t. I get frustrated and snap at him and just watch myself boil over with exhaustion. I’m giving everything I can and somehow I’m still always pushed past the point of patience all the time. I’m so sick of it. I need it to be different 😞 I hope our hard work pays off as once he moves out of adolescence.
I know this post is 5 years old, but I came upon it seeking some advice or at least the comfort of finding someone who could relate. I bought a Rat Terrier 16 months ago. His name is Buddy. Buddy was my first dog ever. I read books, watched YouTube videos, articles, etc on every aspect of owning a dog. I wanted to get it right. It took all of my energy to integrate Buddy into my household, because he is by nature a contrarion. Eveything I do to coerce him into good behavior he does the exact opposite or finds some clever way to get around it. It seemed like no matter what I did to make him happy, he just always seemed to be miserable and unhappy. He wouldn’t eat the food I bought. I went through 5 different dog food services to find one he’d eat. I got him a trainer to stop him from pulling the leash, he just won’t comply. I’ve bought all kinds of toys for him to play with, but he finds random things around the house to chew on. I try to settle him down by exercising him, so I can have a moment of peace. But he won’t let me be no matter what. But you know what’s crazy? This comment is not about him. I actually love Buddy with my soul. And I would do anything to make him happy. So much so, I bought another dog to help him deal with the loneliness of being the only dog in a studio apartment in NJ. See, I theorized that a lot of the behavior problems Buddy was displaying was because he was lonely, so, under pressure from a friend of mine, I bought Brody. Brody is a Boston Terrier. Brody for all intents and purposes is the perfectly behaved dog. He’s happy, loyal, quiet and loves to cuddle…. But I can’t stand him. It hurts me to my core that I feel this way. But every little thing he does irritates me. And trust me, he doesn’t have half the behavior problems as Buddy, but it’s the way he is that bothers me. He shits constantly!! He farts constantly. He spends most of his day foraging for food. He will never stop eating unless you take his bowl up as soon as he finishes… Otherwise, he’ll sit there and lick the bowl for a half hour straight. And it’s a metal bowl, so all you hear is that annoying clanging sound. He’s a maniac for snacks. This is the one behavior problem he has. He is aggressive about snacks. So much so, I have to separate the 2 of them at snack time. Then after they finish, he’ll go where Buddy was eating and lick the spot until I make him stop. He’s sneaky. If he thinks I don’t want him to do something, he’ll watch me until I’m not paying attention then try to do it. He’s stubborn on walks. No matter how many times I try to keep him on the side that keeps me from getting tangled, he’ll keep trying to go to that side. His voice is super irritating. It’s not even a dogs voice. It’s like a squeaky, low, begging drawl. I swear I could write a book on all the things about him I hate. I wish I never got him. But why? Like, I think it’s a psychological thing. Something about him reminds me of the things I don’t like about myself or some shit. I don’t know. I have no real reason not to like him. My best theory is I shot my big load with Buddy because he was so hard to raise. And I just didn’t have the energy for another dog when I got him. But like I said, I was pressured into buying him by a friend. Maybe what I’m experiencing is resentment and regret. I don’t know what the deal is. To be clear, I treat him very well. For all he knows, he is my favorite pet. But it’s all fake. I hate him. It I resent him. I’m just dealing with him because I want to beat this feeling and eventually love him. I feel like if I figure this out, I’ll have beat some deep buried hurt or psychological pain I’ve been hiding that he brings out of me. Anyway. Thanks for listening. I don’t expect anyone to read this long ass comment. I just needed to get it out of my system.
Hey I feel guilty about hating my husband’s dog. I did like him at first. He was even Best Man in our wedding. But over the last couple of years, I have grown to resent the dog so much. I feel bad. He is an old pekingese. But gosh, he is stubborn, makes disgusting noises, never listens to me. And just stares and stares with his big bulging eyes . He has seizures and I feel bad for him when he has them. But I’m the caretaker of this little sh** . He is on medicine but I’m so tired of seeing him have a seizure . He looks like someone is about to squeeze his eyes out of his head and I’ve been instructed to sit and talk with him and comfort him. Sometimes , I feel this dog is miserable and I think maybe he’ll just go head and pass away peacefully. But it will break my husband’s heart when he does die. I will find some relief though. I’m really really tired of all the snorting, the licking, staring , always trying to be the center of attention. He’s not really bad he’s just very high maintenance, needy and annoying. And I’m dealing with enough. I don’t need this every day. Thanks for listening. I needed to vent.
My boyfriend went out to ride his bike one day & I got a call from him, saying how he found a dog on the side of the road. I instantly told him to leave it alone (considering we have a unfriendly dog here at home AND the fact he rode around in a neighborhood where there are MULTIPLE stray dogs) & I tried to encourage him that maybe his owners were already looking for him, he didn’t need to pick it up. He proceeded to convince me to drive over to where he was at to pick up the damn dog.. I was not happy but the original plan was to keep him for a few days, post him online in case anyone was looking for him & if no one ever claimed him, we were going to give him off to the Pug Rescue center in my city. He’s a black pug, fast forward a few days later, no one came forward & my boyfriend was already so in love. I was not. The dog constantly used the restroom, both number 1 & 2, inside the apartment, peed on my couch multiple times to the point where there was a lingering smell & worst of all, the dog cried for EVERYTHING. I really did not want it but my boyfriend did & I just wanted to make him happy. Few months later, we still have the dog, took him to the vet to get all his shots done, turns out, he’s about a year old meaning he’s still a puppy. To this day, I’m still not use to having him around. He gets on my nerves & before, I was already short tempered with MY dog. Knowing I’m stuck with a dog I never wanted somewhat takes a toll on me mentally. I’ve been wondering, questioning if I’m an evil person, if the problem is me. But after finding this article & reading others POVs, I’m more relaxed about it all. The dog is still a crybaby, & man do I lose all patience but he is a living thing with feelings & thoughts of it’s own & maybe one day, it won’t be so bad as it is today.
Maybe you feel that way because dogs suck and make crappy pets 😂
We got our 4th dog from the animal shelter a few months ago, at just about a year old, because our oldest dog is elderly, and our middle dog still wants to play (the 1st dog had already passed away a few years ago). I’ve always had pretty good experiences w/ owning dogs, and even volunteer at the animal shelter. We had a couple meet & greets w/ our middle dog, who wanted nothing to do w/ him, but he seemed sweet and playful, and we figured he’d grow on him once they got used to each other. But I have to say this new dog is a jerk. My husband has tried taking him to the dog park, and every dog just hates him. He’s constantly going up to our dogs and mouthing their snouts, he is constantly trying to mouth and bite our hands, and no amount of treats and positive reinforcement is helping. He’s very aggressive, and even when another dog (or us) indicates they don’t like what he’s doing, he just comes back & does it again. He loves treats, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to do bite and mouth, and then dig up the yard when we’re not looking. I realize he was a mistake for us, but my husband wants to keep trying, although we haven’t tried a dog behaviorist yet; I may have to give an ultimatum that either we do, or he goes. I’ve never felt this way about a dog before.
I feel really sorry for our other dogs having to deal w/ him (we often crate him or put him outside when we have to leave, so he doesn’t harass them while we are gone).
Anyway, I just needed to get it out. I love dogs, and I’ve loved our dogs through their difficulties (we’ve had them before), but this one just doesn’t seem to be responding to what’s worked w/ the others.
I relate. Husky owner. Year old. Enough said.
Took me two days to realize I had made a 12 year mistake. God, please let my gate come open. I’m a cat person through and through.
Have to laugh at some of these posts which is a good thing since I was feeling a bit depressed about my doggies annoying the daylights out of me. They’re old and won’t move out of the way. They want to get in my face. They’re just always there and I’m over it. Thanks everyone for helping me not feel so bad about being unhappy with these old buggas.
I’m so glad to read this article. Last year we got a Cavoodle. My husband had always wanted a dog and our cat had recently passed away after 18 years. So I caved, I’d never owned a dog before but everyone raves about how amazing it is. Unfortunately it hasn’t been amazing for me… right from the start I have struggled to bond with the puppy. Yet, I still do everything for him (despite wanting the puppy, my husband is not big on doing to work involved – seperate story). I feed the puppy (home cooked meals because he is such a fussy eater), I walk him, play with him, give him treats, bathe him, take him to the Vet/groomers etc. Yet he constantly barks at me, pulls at my clothes, cries, growls and on occasion bites me. I try not to react but it really hurts my feelings. There have been days when I’ve sat on the couch and cried after he has bitten me. I’ve honestly regretted getting a puppy and there are days when I don’t like him. It makes me feel so guilty and like a failure. Glad to know I’m not alone.
I came here because my, almost 4 year old Doberman sits at my feet all day and makes this high pitched whining sound. My husband runs him 5 miles and he still whines when he comes home and has had a nap. Is he bored? Pent up energy? In pain? Or just straight up annoying sometimes? I don’t know! Lol
But as I read through the comments on this thread, I realize how lucky I am. My dog doesn’t pee or poop in the house, he is SUPER sweet to all people (including babies), he doesn’t bit, lick, or try to run away when I let him in the front yard with me and he’s probably one of the smartest dogs I’ve ever met. He listens so well, but I can’t teach him quiet for some reason. He can whine for hours. I try to take him outside, feed him, play with him, cover him up (Dobermans are little babies in the cold!). The vet says he’s fine, but I get daily headaches from his whining. I’m not fine lol It is the only time I get impatient with him.
I don’t hate my dog all the time, I do hate him some of the time. He’s a good dog believe me, he’s well trained. But Iet me tell you, he’s stubborn. All my life I wanted a dog, during Covid I got a dog. I have high anxiety, no really I was diagnosed. My dog sometimes make me nuts, I want to jump out the window. I have no life, I go nowhere without him, he’s extremely needy. Sometimes I am filled with regret because he’s so exhausting. I sometimes send him to daycare but it’s expensive. I’m overwhelmed most days and I don’t know what to do. I do love him; I won’t give him up.
This is so dumb lmao. The dog is not a human child. If it’s this ridiculous raising a dog— maybe people need to stop raising fking dogs and focus on themselves. You really just gave the rant a troubled mother would give about raising children. cringe